Hi! I’m Jenna, and my story isn’t just about who I am, it’s about why I do what I do!
To be honest, anxiety was my norm for most of my early life. Even as a kid, I remember being about to start kindergarten and being so anxious that my mother had to sit me down and go through everything that could possibly go wrong and what I should do if it did. As I grew up, perfectionism and pressure to succeed only increased my overwhelming feelings of anxiety, and I began to experience crippling depression, even contemplating suicide and using eating disorders and self harm tactics to punish myself for being who I was.
I was ashamed. I felt ugly and fat, unloveable and lonely. In college, I lost two important people in my life in one summer: my father and my best friend. I added alcohol abuse and unhealthy relationships to this mix to numb myself from the immense pain I carried with me.
Now maybe you can relate in some part to this story, and maybe you can’t, but I chose not to spare you the truth, because it’s important to me that you know how far I’ve come. Whatever you are facing, I have probably seen something like it, but what actually matters is who I am now.
I am happy. I am depression free. Anxiety now is just a feeling and not a way of life. I consciously care for my body, mind, and spirit. I do not believe depression and anxiety are life sentences. I am living, dancing proof that you can be free of them, that nothing in you is broken. Instead, when you learn to love, honor, and trust yourself you can step into the life you truly deserve. A life of love, freedom, and joy!
Never did I realize how far I had come, as when I welcomed my daughter into the world. Being a mom brings with is so much love and fun, but also endless decisions, struggles, and fears. Just when you think you have a got a hold of this parenting thing, something changes and you start again.
I found myself Googling how to get her to nap, how much milk she should be drinking, how should I dress her. I was convinced I wasn’t doing enough. I should be giving her more baby massages, shouldn’t be drinking as much coffee, was a failure for not doing elimination communication. I read books that made me feel like I had already ruined her for life, and then online forums that assured me I had but for the exact opposite reason.
All the judgments and guilts and fears that had ruled my life for so long came crawling back towards me. I could feel them coming. What was happening? Who was this? Add in hormones and postpartum mental health challenges and, well, a case of the weepies is the least of your worries.
But I had skills, mama! Each time I panicked and lost myself I could step back (something I’d learned from years of practice), and when I felt into my own inner wisdom, breathed into my heart, and asked myself what I thought was best… everything got easier. More often than not, my gut instincts turned out to be right.
I ate to nourish my body, I used the tools I had to support my mental health, and I gave myself space and love during the whole process. And what else, I once again found peace, found presence, found happiness, and rested in love. I allowed myself to take in each moment of this tiny creature’s life, rather than pulling myself away to focus on all my failures and guilts or the chores I should be taking on.
Now, I could tell you how I got here. I could list off all of the things I have done through the years or do every day. I could draw up a ten step plan to being a present parent, but it might not work for you. I believe whole heartedly that mental and physical wellness, cannot be achieved through any singular formula. It is only by tuning into your own needs and doing what works in your own life that you can find real peace and ease.
That’s why I took all of my years of experience, my knowledge of nutrition, exercise, yoga, meditation, and personal growth and development and became a coach. It is my life’s work to help other women move into the best versions of themselves full of energy and joy. Moms who are present for their families and compassionate, not only with others but with themselves. I want to put an end to the fear, the guilt, and the belief that you aren’t good enough.
It’s sometimes said that having a child is like living with you heart outside of your body, and I certainly know the feeling. But I also know that you are still a person, with a center all your own and an undeniable inner wisdom and truth you deserve to honor. More so I know firsthand that when you can love yourself, treat yourself with care, and feel into your own heart you will be existing in a space that is much closer to the perfect parent you dream of becoming.
It is my greatest wish for you that you can live the life that your heart calls you too. That you too can let go of the mommy guilt and the struggle that may seem inevitable. That you can have a life full of peace and ease, and open yourself up to experience more presence and love with your family. That you can truly live as you are meant to live.
I believe whole heartedly that joy is the birthright of every single one of us, and I’m prepared to make you believe it too! So much so, that our first Spark Session is always free!